I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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