Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i believe in u and ur pee
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
