Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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