so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
