o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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