Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
