think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Farmville is her only friend.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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