I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
