wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
