Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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