I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
