so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
