i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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