The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
