apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
