i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
