You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
