what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i need some magic done to my vagina
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
