Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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