Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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