Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
