I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
