Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
