I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
