also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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