why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
