her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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