if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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