Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
