Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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