How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
me + whiskey = a bad person
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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