I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
