My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
