im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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