and you said cock pushups were impossible
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You are a genius and a whore.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
