I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
