READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
