God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Randomize