maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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