Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
