Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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