What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
