There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
