I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We have started to decorate penises.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
