I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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