sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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