I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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