i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
