she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You need Xanax blowdarts
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
