you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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