i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
