My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
