His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
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