Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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