I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
