Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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