sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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